In this post, Iām giving you a self-sabotage test so you can find out if youāre sabotaging yourself. And so you can actually do something about it!
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Imagine thisā¦
The new year is coming up. You set your infamous New Year resolutions ā overcome your body image struggles, eat more nourishing foods, invest in better relationships, or work toward deeper spiritual growth ā and by the second week of January, youāre back to your old ways. (ugggh, been there šš»āāļø)
And youāre left feeling frustrated, guilty, ashamed, defeated _______________ (fill in the blank)ā¦
(More about these feelings later.)
So why are you getting in your own way?
And why do SO many other Christian women struggle with self-sabotage ā especially when it comes to body issues?
Well, read on because today youāll learn all about self-sabotageā¦
From what it looks like and how to recognize it in your daily life to how it negatively affects your life. PLUS, Iāve got a simple 10-question self-sabotage test to help you see if youāre unknowingly practicing any of the defining destructive behaviors. Overcoming self-sabotage is possible, my beautiful friend!
Letās dive in!
What is Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage is when you do things that block your own success and well-being.
Itās like carrying a backpack full of rocks while trying to climb a mountain. You might have great goals, but your actions donāt match up.
And the thing about this self-defeating behavior is that it doesnāt discriminate! It can show its ugly face in your professional life ā and it can sneak into EVERY other aspect of your lifeā¦
What Does It Mean to Self-Sabotage?
When you self-sabotage, you mightā¦
- set personal goals but not follow through.
- feel stuck in negative emotions.
- make things harder for yourself.
- act in ways that donāt align with your values.
What Does Self-Sabotaging Look Like?
According to experts, procrastination is the most common self-sabotaging behavior. Procrastination leads you to put off important tasks to avoid negative emotions like anxiety or fear of failure.
While procrastination temporarily relieves these uncomfortable feelings, it ultimately prevents you from achieving your long-term goals and personal success (no buenoā¦).
And if youāve been self-sabotaging for quite some time, your self-sabotaging behaviors can seem like ācommon behavior.ā So you might have a hard time identifying this negative behavior on your own. But no worries, Iām here to help guide you š.
19 Examples of Common Self-Sabotaging Behavior
Here are some clear and identifiable examples of self-sabotaging habitsā¦
- Procrastinating on important tasks.
- Entertaining negative self-talk.
- Overeating when youāre stressed out.
- Avoiding social situations out of fear.
- Being a perfectionist.
- Constantly doubting your abilities and potential.
- Setting unrealistic expectations for yourself.
- Consistently being late.
- Ignoring your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.
- Overcommitting and then feeling overwhelmed.
- Avoiding conflicts and not standing up for yourself.
- Sabotaging relationships due to fear of intimacy.
- Engaging in unhealthy habits like excessive social media.
- Engaging in self-destructive behavior like substance abuse.
- Putting off exercise or healthy eating habits.
- Self-sabotaging career opportunities by not applying for promotions.
- Choosing toxic relationships over healthy ones.
- Overspending or mismanaging finances.
- Staying in a comfort zone instead of pursuing personal growth opportunities.
Did any of these examples stand out or seem familiar?
The next time you notice yourself sabotaging, take a moment to think about why youāre doing it.
What are you feeling ā sad, angry, afraidā¦?
Once youāve identified the feeling behind it, you can pray about it and ask God to help you overcome that feeling š.
(Read on because I have more tips on how to overcome self-sabotage below!)
Overcome Your Body Image Strugglesā¦
Download your FREE 18-page āBody Image Redefined Fast Trackā so you can begin your life-transforming journey toward self-acceptance and embrace your identity as a cherished daughter of God TODAY!
What is Self-Sabotaging a Symptom Of?
Self-sabotage is often rooted inā¦
- low self-esteem.
- fear of failure.
- fear of success.
- fear of change.
- negative past experience.
- childhood trauma.
- feeling unworthy of success.
How Does Self-Sabotaging Affect Relationships?
Self-sabotaging can deeply impact your relationships with others, whether theyāre romantic relationships, intimate relationships, or with family members.
It stops you from reaching your fullest potential ā all that God designed you to be ā and from forming healthy relationships.
Romantic Relationships
When it comes to romantic relationships, self-sabotage often comes from having low self-esteem, fear of failure, or fear of letting people see your vulnerable side.
This can lead toā¦
- Trust Issues and Miscommunication: You might not trust your other half or talk openly, which can get in the way of a good relationship. For example, you might constantly second-guess his intentions or withdraw emotionally, which can prevent a great relationship from thriving.
- Fear of Getting Close: Being afraid of getting hurt might make you avoid getting too close emotionally. Which can cause your relationship to lack depth and genuine emotional bonding.
š Explore Related Posts š
- The Power of Grace: How to Overcome Self-Sabotage Through a Christian Perspective
- The Power of Strength Training: From Self-Sabotage to Self-Love
- What is Neuroplasticity and How To Renew Your Mind
Intimate Relationships
For intimate relationships, being open and trusting is particularly important!
Self-sabotaging can get in the way byā¦
- Creating Emotional Barriers: Negative self-talk or setting unrealistic standards can create emotional distance from your significant other. Which makes it difficult to build a deep connection with him.
- Fear of Commitment: If youāre afraid to commit, you might push away loved ones. It can make you miss out on enjoying the benefits of a stable, supportive, and intimate relationship.
Family Members
Sadly, self-sabotage can mess with family relationships too.
For exampleā¦
- Avoiding Confrontation: Instead of dealing with issues head-on, you might ignore them, making things worse over time.
- Blaming Others (Projecting Insecurities): Sometimes, you might blame someone in your family for your own insecurities. This can cause misunderstandings, tense situations, and emotional pain. And it can also make it hard to work through lifeās everyday challenges together.
Reaching Your Fullest Potential
Reaching your fullest potential in relationships can be tough when self-sabotage gets in the way, likeā¦
- Wasting Too Much Time Feeling Down: Dwelling on self-doubt and fears consumes the time and energy that could be used to build better relationships and grow as a person.
- Undermining Hard Work: Even if youāre working hard, self-sabotage can make it feel like youāre not getting anywhere. Things like, procrastination or perfectionism can slow down progress in both your personal and professional life.
And again ā youāre left feeling all of these negative feelingsā¦
š Recommended Resources š
Check out all of the FREE Body Image Related Resources here!
Donāt allow these feelings to disrupt your life.
Letās talk about feelingsā¦
You know the ones ā frustration, guilt, shame, regret, and ________________.
Yeah, theyāre tough to deal with, especially when they start creeping in after yet another quote-unquote failure.
š You might feel frustratedā¦
Like youāre hitting a huge brick wall every time you try to move forward. Itās like no matter how much you want to follow through, it feels impossible to reach your goals.
š And then thereās that cruel guilt weighing on your heartā¦
Whispering to your ear that you shouldāve done better, that you shouldāve tried harder.
š Shame?
Oooh, shame is a tough one. Itās that sinking feeling in your stomach when you realize youāve let yourself down āAGAIN. You might even feel like youāre not worthy of success or love because of your slip-ups.
But please, allow me to take this moment to disrupt your negative thoughts and remind you something ā youāre always worthy.
Why?
Because your actions donāt define you. You are Godās precious daughter PERIOD ā EndšofšStory.
And then thereās regretā¦
That lingering sense of disappointment and hope for a do-over. You wish you could turn back time and make different choices, but you canāt. All you can do is learn from the past, give yourself some grace, and keep moving forward with Godās help.
But hereās the thing my beautiful friend ā you donāt have to let these feelings dictate your life. In Christ, youāre stronger than you know, and like we said a moment ago ā these setbacks donāt define you š.
So the next time you feel bad about yourself ā take a deep breath and remember that itās okay to ungraciously stumble along the way. Itās all part of the journey to becoming the incredible woman youāre meant to be. So dust yourself off ā in Christ, youāve got this š.
Ready to take the self-sabotage test?
How Do You Know If Youāre Sabotaging Yourself?
Take this simple 10-question self-sabotage test to find out if youāre sabotaging yourself.
Self-Sabotage Test
(Download your self-sabotage test and checklist pdf here.)
Instructions: Read each question and choose the answer that best describes you. At the end, Iāll show you how to score your quiz.
- Do you often procrastinate on important tasks?
- A) Always
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- Do you set goals but find it hard to follow through?
- A) Always
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- Do you engage in negative self-talk?
- A) Always
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- Do you avoid social situations because of fear or anxiety?
- A) Always
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- Do you overeat or indulge in unhealthy habits when stressed?
- A) Always
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- Do you feel like you donāt deserve success or happiness?
- A) Always
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- Do you compare yourself to others and feel inadequate?
- A) Always
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- Do you start projects but struggle to finish them?
- A) Always
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- Do you often feel stuck or unable to move forward?
- A) Always
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
- Do you find it hard to forgive yourself for past mistakes?
- A) Always
- B) Sometimes
- C) Rarely
How to Score the Test
- For each āAā answer, give yourself 3 points.
- For each āBā answer, give yourself 2 points.
- For each āCā answer, give yourself 1 point.
Total Your Score
- 10-15 points: You might have some self-sabotaging tendencies, but youāre aware and can work on them.
- 16-25 points: You often self-sabotage and it might be holding you back from reaching your full potential.
- 26-30 points: Self-sabotage is a significant barrier for you. Itās time to seek support and strategies to overcome it.
If you scored high, donāt worry. The first step to change is awareness!
And the good news is Iām here to help you through it š.
Next Stepsā¦
Start with any one of the simple but powerful tips of this āOvercoming Self-Sabotage Checklistā¦ā
(Download your self-sabotage test and checklist pdf here.)
ā Pray and Seek Guidance: Turn to prayer and ask God for help and direction. Heās always there to guide you through. Psalm 1:2
ā Talk to a Trusted Friend or Professional: Share your struggles with someone you trust or seek guidance from a gospel-centered mental health professional. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
ā Set Small Goals: Start with achievable goals and take it one step at a time. Remember, progress, not perfection, is the goal. Proverbs 16:3 Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.
ā Practice Positive Self-Talk: Combat negative thoughts with positive affirmations and truths from the Bible. Let Godās word be your guide. Philippians 4:8
ā Forgive Yourself: We all make mistakes. Embrace Godās grace and forgive yourself, just as He forgives you. Ephesians 2:8-9
Bookmark this page for easy access whenever you need a reminder or some encouragement along the way.
Youāve got this, beautiful! Remember, youāre capable of incredible things, and with God by your side, thereās nothing you canāt overcome. š
My prayer for you is that my decades of experience with ā an all-consuming battle with distorted body image ā and self-worth struggles ā and how God has radically worked on my heart will bless and inspire you!
Youāre Invitedā¦
You have an open invitation to binge on all of my posts ā written with Holy Spirit-inspired words and filled with love just for you ā my beautiful friend.
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Thank you for joining me on this journey. You are loved, precious, and wonderfully made.