Relationship With Food: It’s Time to Address the Matters of the Heart

This post is all about relationships with food and how to have a healthy relationship with food.

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On a scale from 1 to 10 — how would you rate your relationship with food?

If you’re anything like me, your number was on the lower side… Your relationship with food — struggle with overeating, emotional eating, binging on foods, or restricting foods can be a debilitating — and sometimes even paralyzing feeling.

The good news is — God is good, and kind, and SO gracious…

He cares about you and loves you so much that He wants ALL of you. Your struggle with food included! God wants you to love yourself well — know that your identity is not in your struggle with food but in Him.

I hope that by the end of this post, you will have a better understanding of your own relationship with food and can start your journey toward addressing the matters of your heart.

When Did My Relationship With Food Change?

So my beautiful friend, shake off the shame and feeling of inadequacy, take a deep breath, and sigh with relief because there is ZERO judgment here!

Now, let’s go down memory lane…

Remember going to your abuela’s (grandmother) house as a child?

The inviting aroma of your favorite dish (that only abuela knew how to make) hit you as soon as you got out of the car…

And before she came over to kiss you hello, she asked — from the kitchen — do you wanna eat?

Or… this is a good one:

Every graduation, birthday, good report card, and good behavior led you to Mcdonald’s, lol — that’s where my family went!

Ohhh, the memories…

As human beings, our relationship with food is much more deeply rooted in emotions than it is in nourishment. We have a deep connection to food.

Often times we express our love through food. We share our lives, special moments, and celebrations with family and friends — and even grieve around food.

The thing is…

Our relationship with food is a reflection of our innermost desires, values, culture, and beliefs.

As a Christ-loving woman, I strongly believe that food is a gift from God. And He made it for your enjoyment and nourishment.

Otherwise, why would food be so dang yummy? Why did God give us so much food variety?

Food is a good thing!

There is no good food or bad food — more on this later…

God gave us food and gave it in abundance. To enjoy, savor, and share with loved ones and in fellowship.

So, what happened?

At what moment did things turn around — when did you start depending on food for comfort?

Don’t get me wrong, comfort food is good! When you’re sick, you want some warm comforting soup. When you’re homesick you want some comforting food from mom’s hand.

But…

When you replace the Holy Spirit’s comfort with the comfort of a pint of ice cream… that’s when it’s time to introspect.

That is when you take a moment and boldly present yourself to the throne of grace — and ask God to reveal what is really happening.

What Are You Using Food For?

When you approach your food thoughtfully and gratefully — for the nourishment to your physical body, to satisfy your hunger, and to fuel your body for good work — it’s a beautiful thing.

However, when you allow food to become your go-to coping mechanism, a distraction, or a source of guilt and shame, your relationship with food becomes toxic and debilitating.

(No judgment here… I promise!)

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The Emotional Side of Food

Your relationship with food might be highly emotional. When you eat, it can bring you feelings of joy and comfort.

But it can also bring you feelings of guilt and shame. We often associate certain foods with certain emotions. For example, you might associate a decadent brownie with a feeling of guilt — that’s bad — I shouldn’t have a brownie.

Or maybe you had a plain salad and a rice cake, and you associate it with progress. You feel like you’re making progress toward your weight loss goal.

These emotional associations can be very powerful. They can influence the way that you choose to eat, the way that you think about food, and even your overall relationship with food.

For example, if you’re someone who is constantly feeling guilty about the food that you eat, it can cause you to become anxious about food and how you should be eating. This anxiety can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food.

“For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”

Romans 7:15 ESV

When it comes to your relationship with food, it is important to be aware of the emotional associations that you have with certain foods and to try to be mindful of them. Journaling is a great way to actually “see” your emotions.

As someone that struggles with food — I created a journal to help me realize what I was feeling when I ate, and I think it will be really helpful for you too. The Food Journal to Freedom will help guide you — to discover what your triggers are. Click the button below to download it — it’s free!

How Do I Improve My Relationship with Food?

While each woman’s struggle with food is unique, I would be doing you a disservice if I failed to tell you this…

As with every aspect of our Christian walk, it’s important to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit…

That He would help you separate your emotions from the food that you eat so that you eat for enjoyment, satisfaction, and nourishment. That He would comfort you and satisfy your emotional needs.

5 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Unhealthy Relationship With Food

Now, besides going to your Creator to ask for help here are 5 things YOU CAN DO to improve your unhealthy relationship with food.

1. Pray Right Before You Eat — take a moment to thank God for His provision. And ask Him to reveal any emotional eating. Sometimes we have deep, hidden scars from past traumas that drive us to find comfort in food.
2. Journal — after you pray, pause to write how you feel (or even draw an emoji of how you feel) in your Food Journal to Freedom. Journaling consistently will literally spell out what your triggers are. (I highly suggest you get your copy by clicking here.)
3. Be Mindful — raise your hand if you eat while you work or binge on NetFlix… 🙋🏻‍♀️. Distracted eating can lead you to eat mindlessly. Check in with yourself while eating and see if you’re hunger has been satisfied. If you feel full (not still hungry — not overstuffed), stop and save the rest for leftovers.
4. Reward Yourself With Something Else — “I worked SO hard, I deserve this…” “I worked out today, so I can have this piece of cheesecake…” Sure, you deserve food, and of course, you can have a piece of cheesecake, but not as a reward. Because if you flip that scenario around, you’re telling yourself that if you don’t work hard, you don’t deserve to eat, or if you don’t work out, you can’t have a treat. Break that negative connection with food.
5. Be Kind. Compassionate. And Love Yourself Well. — Grace my friend… grace. Don’t punish yourself with foods that you don’t enjoy. God designed you intricately and complexly… Which means you need all of the macronutrients. Have a healthy serving of protein, carbohydrates, and healthy fats in each meal. When you eliminate a food group your body is not completely satisfied. Therefore, your body will crave what you didn’t give it.

Be compassionate with yourself — implement one or two steps at a time.

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.”

2 Corinthians 4:8-10 NIV

There Is No Bad Food.

Diet culture… social media, tv, everywhere you look there is someone talking about the “eat this superfood”, “no eat this instead”, “don’t eat carbs”, “eat carbs”, “here’s a revolutionary new diet”, “do this and lose 10 lbs in a week”, and “if you don’t look like ‘this’ you’re inadequate, a failure…”

It makes me SO mad!

Why? Because…

a. diet culture had my younger self trapped and wound up so tight — paralyzed…

b. you are designed to look like YOU. God designed small – petite – large – robust – and everything-in-between bodies… who said everyone has to be a small size???

c. the enemy has taken away too much enjoyment and freedom from your life!

It’s time that you stand firmly in your daughtership.

Food is your source of energy. If you eat Cheetos — you’ll have energy. If you eat a salad — you’ll have energy.

Are some foods more nutrient dense than others? Absolutely. But there is no moral value attached to food. So please, don’t let yourself get tripped up by saying, “this food is bad OR that food is good”.

Also, buy foods that are accessible to you. You don’t have to buy organic, cold-pressed, free-of-XYZ foods.

Baby steps — with God you’ve got this! You can overcome your unhealthy relationship with food one step at a time.

Before we part ways (for now), this book is a life-changer. This book — talks about the debilitating effects of trauma and how trauma affects our behavior. Read it so you can get to the root of WHY you have an unhealthy relationship with food.

And just as a reminder — download the Food to Freedom Journal. Let me know how it goes, I’m praying for you! 😊

My prayer for you is that my decades of experience of — an all-consuming battle with the scale — self-esteem struggles — and how God has radically worked on my heart will bless and inspire you! 

You’re Invited…

You have an open invitation to binge on all of my posts — written with Holy Spirit-inspired words and filled with love just for you — my beautiful friend.

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