Battling Body Shaming and Cultivating Confidence
This post is all about body shaming. These are the terms and concepts of body shame that every Christian woman with a negative body image needs to know about.
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Remember that moment?
When you first heard those whispered body-shaming words?
When someone made you feel like your body wasnโt right? It mightโve been a careless comment from a loved one or a look that made you doubt yourself.
Ouchโฆ it was like a sting to your heart, right?
If youโre anything like me, body shaming started very early in lifeโฆ
You probably had body shamers or maybe you were ashamed of your body because of diet cultureโs โskinny = beautiful campaignโ โ that distorts your view of beauty.
But guess whatโฆ
Today, youโre gonna learn how to free yourself from the chains of body shaming โ PLUS tips on how to embrace a healthier relationship with food.
My prayer is that you recognize that your body is a beautifully unique creation of God, deserving of self-love and respect.
Body Shaming
Battling Body Shameโฆ
It was a perfectly tropical-breezy summer day in Puerto Rico. A memory vividly etched in my mind stands out.
I was a teenager at the timeโฆ
Spending the day at the beach with my brother Sam and some friendsโฆ
While my friends splashed in the water, I stood there, paralyzed by the thought of removing my bright orange, super-long (down to my knees) t-shirt.
Sam encourages me, saying, โTake it off, you look great!โ Yet, that one dimple on my right thigh had a hold on meโฆ.
Instead of enjoying the day, I kept my shirt on and spent the day consumed by thoughts of how terrible and fat I feltโฆ
(And if I can be vulnerable for a momentโฆ I was told that my curvy-voluptuous body got me into trouble โ a.k.a. sexual molestation. So I was already insecure about my looks and on top of that I felt like I was being punished because of my body shape.)
And for decades, the enemy held me captiveโฆ I wore clothes that hid my curves and I had a distorted body image.
Even now, as I journey into my fifties and my body changes, I still battle with self-body shaming and a negative body image โ but graceโฆ
Can you relate?
๐ Explore Related Posts ๐
- Diet Culture
- Body Image: Embracing Godโs Love
- Relationship with Food
- From Body Shame to Body Acceptance
- How to Become Free from Toxic Comparison Culture
Regrettably, it only takes that one look โ that one passing remark โ or even just a tiny seed of doubt โ and the influence of diet culture (find out more about diet culture here) leaves its mark on you.
So, letโs get into the meaning of body shamingโฆ
What is Body Shaming?
Well, hereโs how the doctor in psychology, Alice E. Schluger, defines body shamingโฆ
โBody shaming involves humiliating someone by making inappropriate or negative comments about their body size or shape. As well as โfat shaming,โ you may also hear negative comments if youโre underweight or in reference to a specific body part.
This type of criticism can be made to others or yourself. You may feel unhappy with your weight or how your body looks and judge yourself harshly. You may even engage in negative self-talk, such as โI feel so fat todayโ or โI need to stop stuffing my face with food.โ
The act of body shaming can be carried out in person or remotely via the internet and social media and can be done by your parents, siblings, friends, or people youโre not even close to.
Even in a joking manner, remarks about what you eat or how much food you consume constitutes body shaming. Giving someone advice about dieting or praising weight loss is also considered body shaming, whether intentional or not. Often, your friends and family members donโt want to hurt your feelings, but their comments can still be of a critical nature. They may not realize the negative effect that questions like โHave you lost weight?โ or โDo you really need to eat all of that?โ can have.
While nobody is immune to societal pressures to look a certain way, comments about your body are unnecessary in any context. Whether the body shaming is being done by yourself or others, there are ways to overcome the problem, build body positivity, and learn to look at yourself in a more compassionate and realistic way.โ
15 Examples of Body Shaming
Letโs break down the doctorโs examples of body shaming into bite-sized points:
1. Saying inappropriate or negative things about how someoneโs body looks or its size.
2. Making fun of (or fat-shaming) someone for being bigger than what you think is okay.
3. Criticizing certain parts of someoneโs body.
4. Being really hard on yourself because of how you look or how much you weigh.
5. Telling yourself negative stuff like โI feel so fat todayโ or โI shouldnโt eat so much.โ
6. Hurting someoneโs feelings about their body when youโre together in person.
7. Body shaming someone online or on social media platforms.
8. When your closest relatives and friends body shame you.
9. Talking about what someoneโs eating or how much theyโre having in a mean way.
10. Giving advice about diets or saying someone looks better (praising them) because they lost weight.
11. Saying things that might sound like jokes but still make someone feel bad about their body.
12. Asking questions like โDid you lose weight?โ or โWhy are you eating so much?โ can make someone feel bad.
13. Feeling like you have to look a certain way because of the unattainable standards set by diet culture.
14. Saying unsolicited things about someoneโs body.
Hereโs one that makes me REALLY madโฆ
15. When diet culture makes its way into a sermon โ you might get a โyour body is the temple of the Holy Spiritโฆโ tossed at you in connection with dieting. (By the way, the context of this verse relates to sexual immorality โ it does not refer to dieting and exercising.)
- I want to tell them thatโs not right SO BADLY! But instead, I think WWJD (what would Jesus do)โฆ And Iโm reminded to practice grace ๐.
The 5 Painful Effects of Body Shaming
In factโฆ
Most people donโt mean any harm โ they just donโt know any better.
The bottom line and truth is your body is a gift made by God. But sometimes, people say things that make you feel like your body isnโt good.
Theyโre wrong!
Your body is not the problem โ itโs the way we as women think about it that can be a bit messed up.
โGod saw all that He had made, and it was VERY GOODโฆโ
Genesis 1:31 (emphasis added)
Youโre WAY MORE than just your body!
With that said, you may need healing from the profound psychological effects of body shamingโฆ
Iโll mention the 5 known effects but weโre going to focus on the number one psychological effect of body shaming.
5. Physical Health Issues
4. Anxiety & Depression
3. Too Much Exercise
2. Body Dysmorphic Disorder โข BDD
The #1 psychological effect of body shaming is Eating Disorders
- Eating Disorders
Having a negative body image is the main cause of developing eating disorders like anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating.
You might try a diet where you restrict โ eat very little to change your shape or size. But this kind of diet can lead to harmful behaviors likeโฆ
- skipping meals
- not eating
- throwing up after eating
- doing too much exercise
- or using laxatives too often
After a while, your body and brain donโt get the essential nutrients they need to stay healthy.
On the other hand, you might neglect your body byโฆ
- eating past your โfull cuesโ
- consciously overeating
- not moving your body at all
And that is whyโฆ
I encourage you to practice acts of self-kindness and self-love.
Start in the kitchenโฆ
- Get excited about preparing the dishes you love and share them with othersโฆ
- Explore your cultural foodsโฆ
- Express your creativityโฆ
- Try new appliances (I love gadgets!)โฆ
- Build confidence and trust in yourselfโฆ
- Invite other women you love into the kitchen with youโฆ
- share personal experiences or stories with them
- share your journey of overcoming body shaming and speak life into them!
- pray together
- break cultural and generational curses!
And lastly, enjoy your food ๐
As we come to a close, I want to leave you with thisโฆ
How Do You Respond to Body Shamers?
Choosing Godโs Voice Over Diet Culture
So youโve learned that in todayโs world, thereโs a lot of talk about diets and how we should look a.k.a. diet culture.
But hereโs the truthโฆ
You have a choice.
- You can listen to the negative messages of diet cultureโฆ
- Or you can choose to hear the loving words of God.
God made you unique and special, and He loves you just the way you are. When you listen to Godโs voice, youโll find that youโre already beautiful and worthy.
wanda โข grace abounds wellness
Remember, the messages from diet culture can be loud, but Godโs love is louder.
He says you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and He loves you no matter your size or shape.
When you choose to listen to Godโs voice over diet culture, youโll find true confidence and a healthier view of yourself.
Godโs Love: Your Unshakable Foundation
Godโs love is like a strong foundation that canโt be shakenโฆ
He loves you no matter whatโฆ
You donโt have to change how you look to earn His love. His love is unconditional, lavish, and endless.
wanda โข grace abounds wellness
When youโre feeling unsure about yourselfโฆ
- Remember Godโs love. Remind yourself that His love for you is unchanging.
- Ground yourself in this truth.
You can even try thisโฆ
- close your eyes
- take a deep breath
- and imagine Godโs love surrounding you like a warm embrace
Itโs okay to have moments of doubt, but when those moments comeโฆ
- practice self-compassion
- treat yourself with kindness, just like God does
- remind yourself that you are His cherished creation โ He made you with care and purpose.
Embrace Your Identity as Godโs Cherished Daughter
Youโre SO much more than a body. You are a beloved daughter of God. Let that sink inโฆ
Your worth isnโt determined by how you look or what diet culture says. Itโs determined by the fact that you are Godโs creation.
wanda โข grace abounds wellness
When you look in the mirror, see yourself through Godโs eyes. See the beauty that He sees in you. Be gentle with yourself, just as God is gentle with you. Embrace your daughtership and let that love guide you.
In those moments of doubtโฆ
- Remind yourself of Godโs love.
- Surround yourself with positive reminders of His truth.
- And most importantly, show yourself grace.
Just as God loves you, love yourself. You are unique, valuable, and deeply loved by the Creator of the universe.
My prayer for you is that my decades of experience of โ an all-consuming battle with the scale โ self-esteem struggles โ and how God has radically worked on my heart will bless and inspire you!
Youโre Invitedโฆ
You have an open invitation to binge on all of my posts โ written with Holy Spirit-inspired words and filled with love just for you โ my beautiful friend.
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Thank you for joining me on this journey. You are loved, precious, and wonderfully made.
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